Would you be annoyed if your FMIL did this?
Friday, October 29th, 2010Question by Jessica: Would you be annoyed if your FMIL did this?
Let me first say my boyfriend and I are not engaged, but we`re seriously considering it and his family is aware of that (we want to make sure our relationship is solid enough for that kind of commitment). I`m asking about FMIL`s because this is the relationship we will probably share within the next year or two, and this WILL continue to remain a problem unless if I broach the subject.
My boyfriend`s mother (actually his stepmother, he doesn`t know his real mother) has never been particularly happy about my boyfriend being with me because I`m “too frugal“, from Eastern Canada, and I have very “strange ideas“ (here meaning, I very much agree with existential teachings and I`m atheist). The rest of his family on his father`s side I get along with really well, and they constantly bash her when she`s not around because she`s abrasive, nosey, and has put almost everyone in that family into the red when she refuses to pay back personal loans.
Despite all of this, I usually stick up for her and point out that nothing is as it seems and she probably means well. However, there are two things she does that are driving me to the point of not being so inclined to stick up for her. One, she treats my boyfriend like a child- they still receive some of his mail though he moved in with me over a year ago, and she opens all of his bills and then calls to lecture us about our financial responsibilities (keeping in mind, my credit is excellent and we`ve never been late on anything, while she is flagrantly financially irresponsible). She also likes to talk to him and his two older brothers (and occasionally myself) like very small children who have no concept of the real world- his oldest brother is 26!
The thing that possibly makes me the most angry is that she has this intense friendship with my boyfriend`s most recent ex-girlfriend, which I find extremely inappropriate. I think I`m justified in feeling this way because this woman (who is JUST like his mother) spent every cent he had without contributing any money to the relationship, gave him an STI which may have left him sterile, and who to this day spreads slanderous lies about him to anyone who`ll listen. I can`t do anything about his trashy ex I realize, as she`s her own psycho-woman- but I need to find a way to reconcile this with my FMIL.
Am I justified in being annoyed about being made to feel like I’m terrible partner for my boyfriend, while she loves this woman who almost ruined his life?
Thanks!
Best answer:
Answer by handyman
I wouldn’t walk into that hornet’s nest for a zillion dollars. Make sure you don’t marry this man unless you’re planning to live far, far away. You and she are going to push each other’s buttons for the rest of your life if not.
What do you think? Answer below!

(out of 5 reviews)


(25 reviews)