Question by Jessica: Would you be annoyed if your FMIL did this?
Let me first say my boyfriend and I are not engaged, but we`re seriously considering it and his family is aware of that (we want to make sure our relationship is solid enough for that kind of commitment). I`m asking about FMIL`s because this is the relationship we will probably share within the next year or two, and this WILL continue to remain a problem unless if I broach the subject.

My boyfriend`s mother (actually his stepmother, he doesn`t know his real mother) has never been particularly happy about my boyfriend being with me because I`m “too frugal“, from Eastern Canada, and I have very “strange ideas“ (here meaning, I very much agree with existential teachings and I`m atheist). The rest of his family on his father`s side I get along with really well, and they constantly bash her when she`s not around because she`s abrasive, nosey, and has put almost everyone in that family into the red when she refuses to pay back personal loans.

Despite all of this, I usually stick up for her and point out that nothing is as it seems and she probably means well. However, there are two things she does that are driving me to the point of not being so inclined to stick up for her. One, she treats my boyfriend like a child- they still receive some of his mail though he moved in with me over a year ago, and she opens all of his bills and then calls to lecture us about our financial responsibilities (keeping in mind, my credit is excellent and we`ve never been late on anything, while she is flagrantly financially irresponsible). She also likes to talk to him and his two older brothers (and occasionally myself) like very small children who have no concept of the real world- his oldest brother is 26!

The thing that possibly makes me the most angry is that she has this intense friendship with my boyfriend`s most recent ex-girlfriend, which I find extremely inappropriate. I think I`m justified in feeling this way because this woman (who is JUST like his mother) spent every cent he had without contributing any money to the relationship, gave him an STI which may have left him sterile, and who to this day spreads slanderous lies about him to anyone who`ll listen. I can`t do anything about his trashy ex I realize, as she`s her own psycho-woman- but I need to find a way to reconcile this with my FMIL.

Am I justified in being annoyed about being made to feel like I’m terrible partner for my boyfriend, while she loves this woman who almost ruined his life?

Thanks!

Best answer:

Answer by handyman
I wouldn’t walk into that hornet’s nest for a zillion dollars. Make sure you don’t marry this man unless you’re planning to live far, far away. You and she are going to push each other’s buttons for the rest of your life if not.

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issue of Asian Zebra : I was justified ????? Guy / Girl … need your opinion?
Friend had a car, do not even have a license and never tried to get one either (though he promised me he would a month), i went to all our dates, he said he could not afford a car because he pay off student loans was that he had lied 45K a year at his job if he only made 28K. He is 28 and lives at home and plays video games all day. Did not work and is overweight. I asked him that I thought of breaking up and then a few days later he dumped me …. over the phone after 2 years! I am sooo bad! Was I entitled to get upset about these things …… He remained lying to me about getting a car, even though he knew how important it is for me not always have to drive everywhere and it was home. Was I mean, take it? Why did I get dumped !?!?!?!? But he was Treat Me Nice, romantic and a good guy Best Answer:

reply Smilie G
honey you are better off without him … can u say LOSER! he dumped u bc he saw it coming and he could not justify its loserniss and u crazy I should’ve left him a long time ago

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Question by Asian Zeebra: Guys/Girls! I need your opinion! Was I justified?
Boyfriend had no car, didn’t even have a license and never tried to get one either (even though he promised me monthly he would), i drove on all our dates, he said he couldn’t afford a car because he had to pay off student loans, lied that he made 45K a year at his job, when he only made 28K. He’s 28 and lives at home and plays video games all day. He listens to high school EMO music. Everything that goes bad in his life is never his fault. Doesn’t work out and is overweight and always complains but does nothing. I wanted him to know that I was thinking of breaking up, and then a few days later, he dumped me….over the phone after 2 years! I am sooo angry! Was I justified to be upset about this stuff……he kept lying to me about getting a car, even though he knew how important it was for me not to always have to drive him everywhere and home. Was I mean to bring it up? Why did I get dumped!?!?!?!? He apparently said he needs space to figure his stuff out, is that a real reason???

Despite all this, he did treat me nice, but eventually responsibility creeps in, and he had none. So it became very unattractive.

Best answer:

Answer by Elle
you were in the right. you got dumped because he didn’t want to change and he knew you wanted that. just be glad you got rid of him and find someone who respects you.

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question of greenrozes77 : How about going to a mortgage, if your a server ?
Hey, I want to buy a house one day, and I am a full-time waitress. I love my job, but try to get a loan, let alone a mortgage seems almost impossible. The bank sees my pay slip, and sees that I make minimum wage. I was wondering if I anyone has any advice or know how to go about preparing to get a mortgage if it looks (on paper) I do very little money? Gratuities are not included on the pay slip, and I claim tips . as additional income on my taxes Best Answer:

response from vb
server means that you are a waiter. Why are not your paystubs reflecting your tip income? (You are legally obliged to report them.)

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Question by Annie: Does a creditor have the right to call you or threaten to call your employer when they are already?
calling you at home?…I defaulted on a pay day loan–but have been making payments–they are now threatening to call my employer unless I pay it off immediatel……..and what gets me–is they tell me they will reloan again?????????

Best answer:

Answer by Go Cubs Go!!
They can call you at home but not your employer.

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Question by CoCo: When applying for a payday loan online, is it safe to put your SIN number?
Most of them ask for SIN # and it just doesn’t seem safe. But i’m not sure, maybe they have a good reason, does anyone know?

Best answer:

Answer by My Take on It
If a SIN # is like a Social Security number here in the US, I would NOT give that to them.
In fact, I wouldn’t apply online for a payday loan. You will just be filling out applications that get farmed out to who knows where, and if you are putting sensitive info on these applications like personal identification numbers, drivers license #s, or bank account numbers (along with your name address phone # etc) you are just setting yourself up to be scammed.

If you feel you have no choice but to get a payday loan, at least go to one where you can walk in the door and talk to a human. Better still, try to avoid getting one altogether. You will have a hard time paying it off.

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request of mankekineo : “Our Friendly Neighborhood Bank Take a look notice when this happens to you and you change your banking habits.
“Our Neighborhood Friendly Bank” A practice that our neighborhood bank has expanded in the “payday loan” venue, which, although they are reluctant to admit to practice, are in force that contain exactly the same as the corporations that are really in the “payday loan” venue. Your friendly “Store Front” (which is what banks refer to the branches as they now run from a “store manager”) also does not apply by your permission to “payday” loans. There is no minimum amount linked accounts and / or check-savings accounts. The bank, shop to pay the stored or Web environments, and at the same day your automatic deposit of pay check. The customer who thinks he or she the control fall last week, falling victim to the Internet pay demand from the 3rd party, say the electric or gas company. Then, you, the one “positive” balance sheet, have suddenly noticed that all the invoices paid first, then deposit is made, then “fees” deducted. Keep an “operating amount set aside, stay safe. Best answer:

reply finholl
I had a number of years to happen. It happened once, and I called the bank about it. I spoke with a customer service rep and dissatisfied, spoke with a supervisor. At the time I had direct deposit to that bank. So here I am with what amounted to a check, the bank meets on an empty account so I have a paycheck advance offered by my bank. Only the control of the banking hits five minutes to midnight and the paycheck advance not hit until midnight. So I know of a charge made by the bank and am the person I wrote to the check, right? When you talk to the right person, they bank charges be adopted, but this is one of the worst scams, the banks have to come with. Not only do you pay an arm and a leg for this, it will not save you either. And you do it in the end more often than not, because your paycheck ends up going to cover your advance, not that what you have to pay.

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